He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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