Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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