sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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