The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
