forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
