are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
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