He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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