Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
