Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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