Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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