what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
