The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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