Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
