He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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