my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
