I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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