Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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