it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
