so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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