Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
