I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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