I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
