when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
