Sober January is a disaster.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
