i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is