i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun