Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers

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  (920): Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers http://tfl.nu/3qjt
  Replies (22) Good night (1019) Bad night (594)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me

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  (816): normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me http://tfl.nu/ze3z
  Replies (86) Good night (1589) Bad night (23598)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

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  (605): Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?! http://tfl.nu/u19h
  Replies (13) Good night (4302) Bad night (640)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now

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  (443): I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now http://tfl.nu/gk88
  Replies (8) Good night (4259) Bad night (695)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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  (412): words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing. http://tfl.nu/a6am
  Replies (45) Good night (1447) Bad night (6934)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...

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  (250): Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls... http://tfl.nu/1wve
  Replies (30) Good night (5617) Bad night (1397)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.

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  (215): I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box. http://tfl.nu/99g0
  Replies (14) Good night (4240) Bad night (1014)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

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  (647): I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS http://tfl.nu/1k5d
  Replies (35) Good night (8324) Bad night (1229)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.

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  (865): Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight. http://tfl.nu/26e1
  Replies (1) Good night (1335) Bad night (1862)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.

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  (330): He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/vaq0
  Replies (16) Good night (4221) Bad night (1253)
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  (845): View more from New York

  We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."

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  (845): We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..." http://tfl.nu/o2g7
  Replies (8) Good night (860) Bad night (1321)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.

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  (253): I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/kt7p
  Replies (10) Good night (634) Bad night (1000)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.

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  (765): I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it. http://tfl.nu/bmis
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (353)
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  (805): View more from California

  I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency

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  (805): I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency http://tfl.nu/hlej
  Replies (5) Good night (486) Bad night (473)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.

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  (870): She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/olb0
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (255)

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