Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Probably.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm in.

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  (216): Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word? (440): Probably. (216): I'm in. http://tfl.nu/bl31
  Replies (14) Good night (4217) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  How are you feeling today?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i could've thrown up on command at any point today...

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  (907): How are you feeling today? (330): i could've thrown up on command at any point today... http://tfl.nu/ewp1
  Replies (10) Good night (1140) Bad night (4555)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got

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  (619): I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got http://tfl.nu/io78
  Replies (20) Good night (1302) Bad night (4117)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.

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  (918): IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request. http://tfl.nu/53d6
  Replies (14) Good night (5217) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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  (+44): Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman. http://tfl.nu/smcd
  Replies (2) Good night (2962) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.

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  (504): So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back. http://tfl.nu/rbde
  Replies (9) Good night (1176) Bad night (4158)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?

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  (678): There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut? http://tfl.nu/jwsc
  Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence

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  (570): Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence http://tfl.nu/3zfv
  Replies (3) Good night (982) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?

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  (248): Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship? http://tfl.nu/tepw
  Replies (11) Good night (2301) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra

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  (650): i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra http://tfl.nu/msm7
  Replies (12) Good night (794) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

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  (717): I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions http://tfl.nu/aecl
  Replies (5) Good night (594) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.

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  (252): Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation. http://tfl.nu/waj0
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

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  (580): Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come?? http://tfl.nu/rcqs
  Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household

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  (425): Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household http://tfl.nu/3bng
  Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.

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  (314): When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor. http://tfl.nu/ygxz
  Replies (5) Good night (794) Bad night (245)

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