I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll