Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.

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  (516): I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen. http://tfl.nu/vaik
  Replies (13) Good night (1577) Bad night (3900)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable

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  (678): Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/zwpt
  Replies (50) Good night (5046) Bad night (706)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm

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  (508): Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm http://tfl.nu/fqql
  Replies (17) Good night (1216) Bad night (4081)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands

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  (617): the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands http://tfl.nu/ha5y
  Replies (15) Good night (7214) Bad night (1760)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....

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  (706): Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in.... http://tfl.nu/ewud
  Replies (8) Good night (919) Bad night (1940)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.

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  (253): At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets. http://tfl.nu/s5np
  Replies (9) Good night (3921) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.

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  (386): He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck. http://tfl.nu/cvbc
  Replies (7) Good night (2073) Bad night (672)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.

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  (251): I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either. http://tfl.nu/mrji
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (626)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.

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  (701): Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves. http://tfl.nu/z6ix
  Replies (3) Good night (1160) Bad night (466)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.

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  (720): I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it. http://tfl.nu/x8ch
  Replies (2) Good night (354) Bad night (1086)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday

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  (413): Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday http://tfl.nu/bix3
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (320)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice

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  (716): I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice http://tfl.nu/9xrw
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?

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  (303): Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real? http://tfl.nu/o1yr
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!

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  (773): ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!! http://tfl.nu/okju
  Replies (3) Good night (333) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream

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  (815): I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream http://tfl.nu/vgsc
  Replies (5) Good night (234) Bad night (699)

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