Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just google imaged poop.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
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I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.