throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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