if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
