I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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