idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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