i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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