talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
