their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
