Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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