The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
