glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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