i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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