your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
