I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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