Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
