birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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