I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
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Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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