I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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