my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
