oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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