what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize