Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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