just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
