found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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