I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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