Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
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He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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