he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
