my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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