actually, I'm a sock model
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
