So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize