come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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