dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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