just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
