OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize