ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
