It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
