yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize