My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
