Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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