Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
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As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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