this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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